Love Letter of an Economics grad student

So I've been studying economics at my graduate school for about 2 months now. One thing that I like to do with the things I learn is to apply them in unconventional ways (basically unproductive ways). I have my mid semester exams starting next week. As a result, I've had too much of economics in recent days and I just needed to vent it out and came up with this idea. How would an economist write a love letter to his girlfriend? So I just collected all the major themes I've studied in the past 2 months and wrote a small letter. Hope you enjoy it. Feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. 

Dear ******,  

You are the only exception in my life to the law of diminishing marginal returns. The more I am with you, the more utility I derive from you. If my life could ever be explained using a linear regression model, you will be the explanatory variable with the highest coefficient. You complete me like the fitted value of a regression model with 0 residual. I am attracted to you like inflation to rise in world price of oil. My life converges to you like International Money Market Rates over time.  

Before you, my life was like an economy in stagflation. Then you came along and kick-started it like FDI in India. I still remember the first time I saw you, the first date, the first kiss. The memories are as fresh as the efficiency of a perfect market without government intervention.  

After all this time, your role in my life has become like crude oil in Angola's exports. With you, I feel like the Sultan of Brunei. Without you, I am like Assad without Russia and Iran. Everyday, my love for you increases faster than the price of Bread in Germany in 1929. If you are gold, I’m the Mercantilist and if you are oil, I am The United States of America. There’s no limit to the ends I will go to, just to have you in my arms. No matter how far we are, I’ll find my way to you like Hungarian fruits and American poultry to Russia after a trade embargo. Like Colombian drugs to Europe and Bangladeshi kidneys to USA. So don’t worry my love. No matter how hard things get, we will flourish like profits of Monsanto. 

Your irrational economic agent,  

******* *****

P.S. - A peer review of this academic piece of literature revealed that the line "If you are gold....America" might seem a bit rapist like in the sense that the economist will force himself on his lover. I would like to clarify that the sentence wishes to convey that the economist isn't afraid to go to any lengths for his lover and not force himself on her. 

Key References:
Introduction to Microeconomics - Hal Varian
Introductory Econometrics - Jeffrey M. Woolridge
Observatory of Economic Complexity 
VICE News - HBO

Note: I give to all fellow economists, the right to use and modify this love letter as per their needs (and economic preferences). You may or may not mention me as a reference.